Home / References / Reentryshock
Re-entry Shock
Well folks this is it. Soon you’ll be packing your bags, saying your good byes and heading out to new and different landscapes, far away from Toyama. The difficulties inherent in leaving Japan are quite obvious. Saying goodbye to your favorite people and places, closing down your apartment and utilities, and figuring out what to do with all that stuff you’ve accumulated! With all the things to do here before you leave, it’s no wonder JETs often arrive back in their home country, wide-eyed, jet lagged and very, very confused. “Where am I again? And where did all these ‘gaijin’ come from!”
Re-entry shock is something many JETs face to a varying degree upon returning home. Just as moving to Japan required serious adapting, going back may require some adaptation as well. Food’s going to be different (this could be good or bad!) and many of your friends will have changed, your country will have changed, you will have missed out on a year or more of development in your family and home culture. To some extent going home can feel like going to a foreign country all over again, except worse because you are not expecting it.
Preparation is always the best policy, so it’s a good idea to do a bit of research on this before you encounter it. Try one of the search engines on the Internet where you’ll be able to find articles and personal accounts. Some suggest the more successful you were in adapting to your “new” culture, the harder a time you’ll have re-adapting to your “old” culture. Also, when you are in an alien country, people are aware that you are from a different place and may tend to be more understanding of your actions. When you return home though, you will probably have changed and people won’t necessarily be expecting that or be accepting of it.
It’s also recommended that you do a bit of reading up on your hometown. Check out your local newspapers online. Look at the local news and see what has changed while you’ve been away. If you are going some place new, read up on that as well. This can help a lot, especially to fill those empty spaces in conversation with friends you can’t seem to relate to anymore!
Toyama has been home to us for some time. We’ve found cool places that have made it special. We know the good places to eat. There’s that favorite bar you like to hang out in. We have our rituals that have helped us to be comfortable while living here in Toyama. Dr. Jim McRae (a CLAIR psychologist) recommends saying goodbye to your favorite places. Those places where you always hung out were important to you for a reason and, just like with people, it can be important to get closure.
Psychologists also recommend writing things down. It sounds trite I know, but sometimes the process of writing helps you feel better. What things did you like and what things didn’t you like? Are you happy to be going home? How are you going to say goodbye to those people that have influenced your life here in Toyama? How are you going to continue/advance/maintain your Toyama friendships? Are you going to ride off into the sunset, never to communicate again, or is it going to be holiday greetings by mail? Make sure you say goodbye to the people who you probably won’t be seeing again so you can feel good about having finished off your experience well and without loose ends.
The last two months here are going to be busy. With packing and preparing to leave, you might not have time to visit all those people and places if you leave it until the last minute. This is one of those things you don’t want to procrastinate on. Come to grips with leaving, think of ways to take what you love with you and say goodbye to the things you can’t. Planning ahead can help make your transition back easier. You’ve been here for a long time. If you treat the leaving experience with the proper reverence, you’ll feel better about doing it.
In a questionnaire given by CLAIR every year to JET Alumni, many state they no longer feel they have a lot in common with people back home. This is a symptom of reverse culture shock. According to many JETs, everybody will inevitably ask, "So how was Japan?" That’s a difficult question. Can you encompassing your entire JET experience in a 10-second reply? Many JETs say even close friends and family aren't so interested in what happened "over there". They say often when asked about Japan, the JET gets half a minute into talking about it before the listener's eyes glaze over. Many listeners can't relate, even if they're really close. Most people want to hear, "It was great!" and then be done with it, while you want to share what you have been through and how you have grown.
Family members who went through tough times back home during the JET's absence can sometimes harbor unconscious resentment towards the JET for leaving. It seems people who’ve lived abroad make the best listeners for ex-JETs. It would be a good idea in many ways to join the JETAA or a similar intercultural exchange-related organization in your local area (volunteer for a student exchange program for instance) in order to find people who can relate to what you have been through. Or keep in touch with friends you made here. In those first few months home, you may really need an understanding ear.
Also, consider keeping your friends and family informed of what’s going on in your life in the months before you leave. Some JETs write email journals and send them to their friends. That way, even though your friends and family cannot be here in person, they can be here in spirit and have some idea of how you’ve changed and what you’ve been through before you get back. That way, when you discuss your experiences with them, they have some frame of reference.
Another point alumni warn about is your old friends might now seem to be very boring! The fact that they may seem to have not changed at all can be frustrating when you have changed so much. You may end up feeling like you have grown past them. These feelings are completely natural though and are symptomatic of re-entry shock. It's possible you might find yourself hanging out with different people and aspiring to do different things, and in doing so you may grow apart from some of the people who were your friends before you came to Japan. Then again, this may not happen at all – many people find they fit right back in with no problems. Be patient about it and take things slowly – remember that it will take time to adapt and reintegrate.
There are many manifestations of reverse culture shock. Some JETs might experience all of them, while others may have no problems at all. Almost all JET alumni say it really helps to plan for the near future so you have meaningful goals to work towards when you get back. If you have something to aim for then it will help you to fit into your new life and quickly adapt.